High School Reunion

So, I got my invitation to my high school's five-year reunion the other day. I opened it, looked at it, and promptly threw it away. Perhaps that seems cold or callous, but I've got my reasons.

First of all, high school was not a great time of my life. Why would I want to go back and relive my 'glory days' for a night if they weren't all that glorious? I spent a lot time in high school depressed and miserable.

Second of all, I had very few friends, and even fewer who were actually in my class. I can count the number of close friends in my class on one hand. To that point, I honestly disliked half of my class. The immaturity, the drama, the teasing, the exclusions because certain people just weren't popular-- it was stupid. THEY were stupid. Lord knows they probably still are.

Third, I'd have to pay 25 bucks to attend the reunion. No offense, but that's a lot of money for someone who works a crappy job. That's a lot of money that I just don't have. I budget down to like... five-dollar increments with my paychecks. Petty cash doesn't happen.

And finally, I was best known not for being Laura Hermsdorfer, but for being Jean Hermsdorfer's daughter. My mother was the secretary at my high school, and she was awesome at what she did. Not only that, but everyone loved her. Unfortunately, my mother passed away in August of 2008. I graduated in 07. So yeah. That was kind of fresh on everyone's minds, and because everyone loved my mother so much (I can't blame them, she was amazing), I'm pretty sure that I'd have to hear people mentioning her all evening. I don't want that. I honestly don't think I could handle that.

Back when I was working at Panera Bread, one of my old classmates came by to eat. She recognized me, smiled, and said "Hi! How's your mom doing?"

God help me, I just stood there for a second, staring. I couldn't think of anything even remotely appropriate to say. All my other coworkers on the line were looking at me. It felt like my discomfort was contagious. I got paranoid. I almost burst into tears. But holding my composure, I just said something to the effect of, "Well, my mother actually passed away a few months ago."

Then SHE caught the discomfort and walked away without saying much of anything. I proceeded to go to the walk-in cooler and there, I cried a bit. I actually cried a lot in that cooler, back when I worked at Panera. Back then, it was so close to her death that I was struggling a lot with it, and holding composure was a difficult thing 24/7.

Wow, tangent. Well, suffice to say.... I'm not going to the reunion. Yeah. That's all I got.