Sometimes, Kids do Stupid Things.

And sometimes, kids let stupid things happen through their inaction.

When I was younger-- maybe nine or ten-- a girl moved in down the block. This girl's name was Lissa. Well, it was probably Melissa, but I only knew her as Lissa.

Lissa was cool. Unspeakably cool. Her mother let her do whatever she wanted. Lissa was only a couple years older than me, and she didn't have a curfew. I was too young to understand that this was probably a result of bad parenting. I'd lived with my parents who wouldn't even let me cross the street by myself all my life. Hell, when I'd run halfway down the street to go play with another neighbor of mine, my mother would watch from the front porch like a hawk. So in my young and unadjusted mind, this older, rebellious girl was a badass.

Lissa and I hung out a few times. Everything was awesome.

One day, Lissa came over to my house to play. My older sister wasn't home. Lissa had a fantastic idea.

Lissa wanted to play with a Ouija board.

I didn't know what a Ouija board was-- and I assured her I didn't have any such thing in my possession. I was politely confused but desperately curious.

So Lissa left. My mother had gone to the store, and my father was puttering around outside. When Lissa returned, she had a black sharpie, scissors, and a large piece of cardboard.

And, on the floor in my room, Lissa constructed a homemade Ouija board. It was around that time, looking at the deceptively innocent-looking piece of cardboard laying on my floor, that I began to get a bad feeling. I asked her what the Ouija board was for-- what it did-- what kind of game lacked dice, chutes, ladders, or brightly-coloured fake money.

When Lissa told me that a Ouija board let you ask questions and talk to ghosts, all the hair on my arms stood up. This was sounding more and more like a terrible idea, and I was quickly growing sure that I wanted no part of this. However, Lissa, being older and cooler, was in charge. I didn't dare tell her that I didn't want to talk to dead people, because then she would think I was lame and wouldn't want to hang out anymore.

So Lissa and I hunched over the Ouija board and she started asking questions. I distinctly remember feeling sick as the piece of cardboard she'd cut out to be the planchette started moving to letters and numbers. I don't know if Lissa was pushing it or if it was actually moving on its own, and to this day, I really don't care.

I don't remember what she asked or what the answers were, but I know that when I heard my mother walk into the house carrying the groceries, I was unspeakably relieved. Lissa told me not to tell my mother about the Ouija board and to hide it. I did exactly as she instructed.

Lissa went home and a few days passed without incident.

However, it needs to be said that I am just terrible at hiding things.

My mother found the Ouija board and, understandably, freaked out. What followed was a long line of her angry questioning and me sobbing uncontrollably as I ratted Lissa out like a coward. I didn't even feel bad for doing so. I wanted to wash my hands of the whole affair and be free from talking to dead people.

My mother, thankfully, believed me, and told me that I wasn't in trouble, but that I wasn't allowed to hang out with Lissa anymore. I wasn't even that upset about it. Frankly, I'd started to realize that maybe Lissa was just a lunatic with parents who didn't care if she stayed out til 11 at night and spent her time talking to ghosts.

I've not seen Lissa since then. I'm okay with that-- especially because I now know what Ouija boards are actually capable of. The world of the paranormal greatly interests me, but I can safely say that I certainly don't bring Ouija boards along with me to possibly-haunted locations. As a matter of fact, I haven't laid a finger on one. Parker Brothers is stupid for deciding that those things needed to be made into a kids' toy.

Migraine Battle 2010

Four days ago, I woke up with a migraine. This is not unusual for me-- I get migraines pretty frequently, sometimes as many as two or three times a week. Usually, I get the migraine, take some ibuprofen/naproxen sodium/whatever is on hand. If I have to go to work, I just tough it out and pray the migraine goes away before too long. Typically, after I get some sleep, it's gone.

But this migraine is different. This one is special.

As I said, I woke up with a migraine four days ago. This thing hasn't gone away, despite my best efforts. It started innocently enough. The pain set in gradually, creeping in with such subtlety and malice that I didn't realize it was happening at first.
INDEED. If only I'd known what. I'd like to believe that if I'd started taking tylenol or something at that stage, I wouldn't be where I am today. Ah well, wish in one hand and shit in the other; see which one fills up first.

That was Friday. I was supposed to be playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends that day. We went to lunch beforehand. It was shortly before that, that I realized what was happening to me. Horrified and alarmed, I took some ibuprofen. I was not going to let the migraine defeat me.

I took the bottle with me in my purse to lunch and then to Dungeons and Dragons afterward, just in case. The migraine didn't let up and before long I was squinting at my character sheet and doing my damndest to laugh at every joke, not break character, and generally try to make everyone believe my migraine had gone away and I was, in fact, fine.

Many hours later when we called it quits, not all of us were ready to just go home, myself included. I'd taken some more ibuprofen and I was starting to feel a little bit better. Surely, I thought, my migraine had gone away. So a few of us decided to play Magic the Gathering.

Until 3 AM.

Well, I went home and went to bed. When I woke up later on Saturday, my migraine was reminding me that it had never gone away at all, and that the horror was only beginning.

The next two days were a blur of me laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself and drinking lots of water. I also tried putting vapor rub under my eyes and nose in the hopes that I was dealing with a sinus headache and that the vapor rub would open up my sinuses and everything would magically be fine.

This was not the case.

Last night ended with me going in the bathroom and turning on the shower as hot as it would go to fill the bathroom with steam. I hoped that perhaps that would help. I know, stupid-- but I was desperate at that point.

The migraine was winning. It wouldn't go away. So I went to bed.

It's still winning today. Like an army of rabid hamsters gnawing on my brain, it's winning. But I will not give up. This damn thing is gonna go away and I'm going to get back to living in peace.

Never stop fighting! YEAAAAAH!

On my Absence

Wow, I'm sorry I haven't been making posts the past few days. I know that makes me a bad person. However, I've been depressed about my job and that, I realized, has made me write... less-funny, more-angry posts. And nobody needs to read that. BUT there clouds on the horizon are going to break.

I had an interview today at Qdoba, which is kind of like the... I dunno. Subway of Mexican food? You build your own tasty burrito and it's kind of amazing. No lie. But I digress! My interview went well and now I'm just waiting on a call back about my schedule. Rest assured, I'll be keeping my phone glued to me, straining desperately to hear Lady Gaga singing 'Telephone' at me.

It'll be like this.

I'll be sitting by myself, quietly reading or playing around on the computer, when suddenly, I'll hear a NOISE! I'll flip out about it and immediately zoom in on my phone... only to realize that my phone was not responsible. I'll be disappointed and go back to what I was doing. This cycle will most likely repeat itself endlessly.

Also, I'm sorry about the abnormally bad quality of that drawing. My good mouse is wireless and uses AA batteries, but it died and I don't have anymore... so I had to use my crappy mouse which doesn't like to move or click. And as those are the two major functions of a mouse and it sucks at both, that's a problem.

So I'll have to get batteries today. I hope I remember them...